Archive for August, 2008

Smoke Cigarettes

August 11, 2008

I’ve been depressed since tuesday. This girl I’d fallen for told me that she wasn’t interested after the first date. Yeah, 25 year olds can be emo too. As the week went on, I began to criticize myself more and more, until today when I recognized that my pursuit of all things material was done in vein, and that I can be perfectly content without any of the things I’d put so much emphasis upon during the past year.

Then tonight, I walked up to the CTA redline station at 35th, stood around waiting for my train, and saw a man with his friend, smoking a cigarette. He was maybe 35 years old, had a decent, manly look, and looked completely cool as he smoked his cigarette.

Then, a cop walked up to him, and told him that he could not smoke on the platform. This bothered me greatly, because the tax dollars of both tobacco producers, as well as the man himself went towards the creation & upkeep of that very station. Smoking is completely legal, why the fuck shouldn’t this guy be able to smoke a cigarette, standing no less than 40 feet from every other patron of the station, causing inconvenience to absolutely no one?

However, this guy, as cool as fucking shit, took 3 more hits of his cigarette right in front of the cop before flicking it into the dan ryan expressway.

I have been a proponent of smoker’s rights ever since the city started telling private business owners that they aren’t allowed to let smokers smoke in their establishments. If you don’t like the fact that people are smoking around you, go somewhere else. Business owners should have the right to choose whether or not they want people smoking in their establishments. This isn’t china. We’re supposed to have freedom. Don’t give me your bullshit about second hand smoke either. My mother smoked around me from age 4 to 22, and my health was just fine. Maybe the smoke irritated my eyes on some days where allergens were already kicking my ass, but I still grew up into a completely healthy man, and even grew out of all of my allergies by forcing myself to be around all of the things I was allergic to for extended periods of time where I would be required to breath heavily.

But, back to my story. This guy inspired me. He disobeyed authority right to their fascist fucking faces, and still walked away without penalty.

My train then appeared, and I took that north to chinatown, and made it my intention to walk to wallgreens and buy a pack of cigarettes. As I walked down the street, I saw all the fakes. It’s easy to spot a fake. Any guy who is out on a double date is a fake. I saw maybe 3 different groups of couples double dating, and I despised every guy I saw. Maybe I’m a little jealous, or maybe I’m just really anti-social. I just can’t stand the thought of someone taking these people seriously. Some of them looked in my direction, but I just ignored them and walked down cermak towards my new dream.

At wallgreens, I purchased a pack of bic lighters, and a pack of newport cigarettes. I hadn’t tried smoking cigarettes since I was 16 when a friend offered me one. All of the smokers I know tend to stick to newports, so I bought a pack, and left.

I opened the pack, pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and then began walking to work on the other side of cermak at calumet. Usually when I walk down the street, people give me strange looks. It is a little bit of a rough area, and people don’t usually expect to see a white guy on that street at night. However, with a cigarette in my hand, people looked me in a new way. Like a human being who had real problems. Nobody spoke to me. They just looked me, smiled a little bit, and went back to whatever they were doing.

If you’re a sad, lonely nerd, smoking cigarettes is the best, and coolest thing you can do. Even if you do get bummed out, having your addiction fulfilled will revive your spirit. Additionally, you’ll look extraordinarily cool, and women might even find you more attractive because they can’t see the whole ‘*nerd*’ thing you have going in the background.