Here in michigan, there’s a republican senate candidate named Mike Bouchard. A majority of his ads simply complain about the current representative, Debbie Stabenow, but today I caught one of the ads where he talks about himself, and he gave his url: www.mikeformichigan.com. I just had to see the genius that was brewing within that website, so I punched the keys on my keyboard, and eventually his website came up.
After reading over his issues page, I just had to send him a letter expressing how I felt about it. So, I cooked up this email, and addressed it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here’s the email:
“My plan to keep America’s children safe focuses on using the recently established National Sex Offenders Database to keep sex offenders out of schools. It also contains a provision to allow the Justice Department to create a database to track the IP addresses of known sex offenders.”
Are you aware that not everyone has their own static ip address? Most people’s IP addresses are dynamic. How about those Wide-Area-Networks, where entire neighborhoods, and buildings share the same ip address? How would you feel if your neighbor was listed as a sexual offender, and you were also listed as a result of your provider’s configuration? Do want providers to start giving every single person their own IP address? There is a limit of 4,294,967,296 ip addresses under the current working version of the internet protocol. With the number of people who use the internet, I don’t think that solution would work.
Are you aware that instant messaging services don’t even establish a direct user-to-user connection during regular text based messaging, but instead simply connect each user to one server, and users never directly connect to each other? How is having a list of sex offender ip addresses going to help parents when they never even see the offender’s ip address? Do you want the IM providers to compromise user security, and make everyone’s ip addresses completely visible?
This idea protects no one, and I don’t think you took anything into account. You just wanted to appear tech-savvy to all of michigan’s idiot parents, whose only knowledge of the internet comes from what they see on CSI.
All the best,
Mike Q. Bailey
Mike was also a sheriff some time ago. I was going to include this bit:
P.S. I had hotdogs for dinner tonight. I just thought you might have been interested, having known so many dead pigs during your previous career
But I thought that might have come off as threatening. So, I just cut that little bit out.
I’m hoping he replies. I’ll let you know if he does.