South in review

May 24, 2006

Well Hello there,

Yeah, I’ve been back since monday night. I haven’t been in the blogging mood for one reason or another. But, now i’m here to brighten up your day with good old fashioned blogging action.

Georgia trip was Alright. Things that happend…

Night 1 – Slept at grandma’s. I got to sleep on a rock hard bed, and didn’t sleep very well due to all-around eriness.

Day 1

Got up around 6, got on the road around 7. Trip through michigan was alright. Downtown detroit looks pretty awesome.

Ohio is a pretty terrible state. Too many patriotic & jesusy things for me to like. Roads were slightly better than michigan, but they weren’t the best of the trip.

Kentucky was alright. Every once in a while I saw these billboards threatening us with eternal damnation, and quoting the bible. We stopped at a wendy’s for lunch. Everything was pretty much the same. The mountains were pretty beautiful. I would like to go there for biking some time.

Tenessee was OK. We didn’t get to drive much of it on day one, because my uncle lives right on the border. Uncle and Aunt took us out to dinner. We went to this local hole-in-the-wall which serves all you can eat catfish. I had 3 plates of it. It was very good. I also got my first state of southern sweet tea there. I enjoyed that very much.

We slept overnight in TN, at my uncle’s house. He owns about 25 acres in TN. His house is really nice. You might remember, I got on the internet from there. He let me use his basement tv, which has direcTV. That made the whole thing extra-nice.

Day 2

We went out to breakfast before leaving. Another down-home restaurant. I had french toast, and some orange juice. All was good.

Driving through TN was alright. Some nice cities. Roads weren’t half-bad either. I don’t think we saw one dirt road during the entire trip, we did see some damnation-threatening billboards though.

After driving for a long time, we reached georgia. I think we saw a few damnation billboards. The roads were quirky, but we managed.

Upon ariving at the motel we were set to stay at, my bald-headed, redneck-convert uncle pulled up in his car, demanding we go straight to my other cousin’s new house. So, we followed him out for a long time, and got to her house. There we sat around, watching my uncle act like a stupid tool. After an hour, it was time to go to the wedding rehersal. So, we left to go back to the hotel. At that point we were all hungry, so we decided the rehersal could wait, and stopped at a southern restaurant called “shoney’s”. At shoney’s, I had what they call a “bear burger”. That came served with french fries, and a drink. Of course, I ordered sweet tea. After eating, we went back to our room, and mom / grandma left for rehersal. I didn’t care about the wedding, so I opted out. 10 minutes after those two left my aunt called asking where they were. I told them they had left.

At the motel, I took a piss, went to flush the toilet, and the toilet started overfilling. So, I called the front desk, and they gave me a plunger to fix it. I plunged it for a while, and eventually it went down. After that, I ignored it.

Had a shower.. shower didn’t overfill, alright.

mom and grandma came back after several hours. they were pissed off because the rehersal took so long.

Went to bed after a few hours, then got woken up my grandma snoring, that’s right, a snoring grandma.. That was pretty aggervating. ipod helped me sleep though.

Next morning, got up and had a cold donut, and some orange juice that the motel gave us. Uncle came over to our room, he was staying a few rooms away, he was wearing a regular shirt, and dress pants. I decided I wasn’t going to wear a suit in this heat, so i just put on a nice shirt, and some dress pants. After that, we left.

When we got there, we just hungout outside of the church. The inside was cluttered with people from the other family. Eventually we went inside, and we were told to sit in the middle section, 3rd row. There were 3 sections, the right was for the guy’s family, the center for some other people, and then the left for some other people. As directed, we sat down in the middle section. After 10 minutes however, we were told by some other lady that we were supposed to sit on the left section, and the center was special for grandparents, and parents. I said “There’s like 80 chairs here, are there really that many grandparents and parents?”, my question was ignored.. I guess my statement triggered that allergic reaction southerners have when they come in contact with logic.

So, we moved. As we looked to the other side of the room, there were about 50 people on the right side. On our side, about 11.

Wedding happend. They played some obnoxious country / southern rock as the happy couple walked away.

We then walked across the church for the recession. We sat down at a table, and it was announced that we needed to go take photos. So, we got our pictures taken, and everything was alright. Then we went back, and eating time was announced. The other family then rushed up into the line, and our section was left near the end. By the time we got to the food table, just about everything was gone. The main course was some chicken they got from chick-fil-a (more about them, later). I got 3 crackers, a peice of bread, some fruit, and a cup of sweet tea. Chicken was gone by the time I got there.

As we ate, I was told that the guy my cousin had married, brian actually worked as a manager for these chick-fil-a restaurants, and goes around setting up stores, etc. I was then told that it’s his dream to open one of these restaurants, and he had been working for them for many years. Then, the ultimate shocker was brought to the table:

Chick-Fil-A is a christian restaurant that operates on many christian principles. One of which is that if you want to open a chick-fil-a franchise, you must be married.

That’s right, you have to be married.

Now, combine that with the knowledge that my cousin broke up with the guy, after cheating on him with an older guy.

It’s my professional opinion that this guy ignored the fact that my cousin was cheating on him, specifically so he could open his own chick-fil-a restaurant.

After that we went out to dinner because none of us ate anything at the wedding. Ruby tuesday was had. They screwed up my, and this other guy’s order. I got my turkey burger free, and was too tired to be angry.

Went back to our room, found ants all over my bed. Called front desk, they sprayed some raid. Thanks a lot, days inn.

Grandma snored more, yeah…

Woke up next morning, had shoney’s breakfast buffet for breakfast. Uncle was a dick for the entire duration of our trip. Us michiganders seemed completedly unwelcomed in georgia.

Drove from georgia to tennessee to spend the afternoon/night at uncle’s house. We stopped by some other hole-in-the-wall for lunch. I had french fries because i wasn’t so hungry.

At uncle’s house we just hung around. He took us back to that same catfish restaurant and we had more catfish. I had sweet tea there, it was great.

Next morning we left to drive back to ohio. In kentucky or ohio, we stopped by cracker barrel for lunch. I had grilled catfish, and sweet tea. I bought this whimsical pig bird feeder from their gift shop. I should put it out with some bird seed this week.

Rest of the trip was alright. My knees had been hurting for most of the trip due to being cramped up in the backseat.

Made it back to michigan in one peice.. alright.

Got back home around 8pm.

There’s the story. Did biking tuesday, and wednesday. Will do more today.

I got lost out in some orion dirt roads tonight. That was fun. I don’t feel like typing anything else.


7 Responses to “South in review”

  1. Krista Antonini Says:

    #1- The United States Constitution
    *the United States Constitution is Federal and is available for reading in the front of any major unabridged dictionary.
    #2- The State of Michigan Constitution
    *the state constitution is not federal and only applies to the state in which the constitution was written.

  2. Krista Antonini Says:


  3. Krista Antonini Says:

    “Guido” the bouncer and short order cook in the backwoods of Northern Michigan always has his ass crack hanging out, sometimes even when he is flipping burgers. You see Guidos ass is the crack down.

  4. Krista Antonini Says:

    Did you say prostitution was against the law? Thank god slavens smashed my head into her sweater puppies. Otherwise I’d be a whore.

  5. Krista Antonini Says:

    THEY SAY “ZIP YOUR LIP”, I SAY “ZIP YOUR PANTS”. Seriously, I never saw any underware or shlong, but, the zipping up and down at the kitchen/dinning room table is a bit much. With the resturant, dude, nobody want’s to watch you play with your zipper in a Chineese resturant food booth.

  6. Krista Antonini Says:

    Yea, doesn’t look like your trying to lynch someones ass or anything. Nobodys butt-cheeks are a hamburger. No wonder it’s a krackhaus.

  7. Krista Antonini Says:

    Pardon the glass, I thought it was the cool point. Sylvia Plath sucked, I say it is the cool point.

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