A menace to Society that YOU need to know about

March 13, 2006

The fucking wind!

Wind is something which can be linked to almost every problem on earth.

  • It costs you money, by requiring your car to produce more energy to move in a direction opposite it
  • It costs oil companies money by powering your vehicle without the need of oil, thus driving up the cost of oil, because the companies producing it aren’t making enough money!
  • It keeps fat people like me from riding our bikes, or running against it, thus increasing the national obesity epidemic
  • it destroys the homes of people who live in trailor parks, thus making them ignore the real problems facing society, thus segregating the country into those who pay attention to society’s problems (eg: the war), and trailor park people who don’t know about the problems, and therefore think that it’s just liberal animation
  • So many leaves blow off our trees every years, we have to hire illegal immigrants to clean them up
  • wind causes hurricaines and shit end up destroying countries, and the homes of other rednecks!

This list could go to the point where the webpage would be nearly 8.7 terabytes in size!

Just today, I tried riding my bike, but wind coming from the north, south, and western parts of michigan prevented me from completing my 10 mile goal. I could only do 5 miles!

I have constructed a plan which involves surrounding every town on earth with a 400 foot wall, with a single garage door in each town for travel. I have wrote my state’s congress members, and I hope you people do the same.

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