Bill Collectors

March 4, 2005

For the past 2 years i’ve been answering the phone, and telling each and every bill collector who calls this house that my parents aren’t here to answer the phone. Recently a guy who goes by the name of “Lance Smith” started calling my home in search of my parents, but this guy acts differently than most other bill collectors.

The biggest difference that sets him off from other bill collectors is his response time. The average bill collector is usually sitting in a room similar to that which is used by telemarkters, with about 50 different phone connections being spooled throughout the building. This causes the response time of the average bill collector to respond no more than 8 seconds after pickup. Our friend lance answers the call immediately.

Other differences between normal bill collectors and lance is that lance doesn’t directly report on who he is working for. When i ask who other bill collectors work for, they will usually state the name of the company they are collecting for. Weather it be citi(bank/card), sears, or households bank (HSVC), they will all state the name of their company. With our friend Lance, he states that the number he leaves will go directly to his office.

Other differences between lance and the rest of our bill collecting compadres is the difference in background noise. With most bill collectors, you can hear people talking in the background. With lance, there is absolutely no background noise.

Regardless of their differences, something rather unsettling happend today.

After answering about 3 calls throughout the day from normal bill collectors, and hanging up on them after 3 seconds of inactivity, Our friend lance called. As soon as he said “Hi, Is paul there?”. I being busy at the time said “He’s not here, stop calling.” and hung up immedediately.

This course of action usually works out great. They stop calling for at least 5 hours, and I can pay attention to whatever else I’m busy with. But this time around Lance redialed, and a fairly unsettling 30 second conversation took place.

Lance: Hey Mike, How would you like it if we served papers at your front door today?
Me: I don’t appreciate being threatened
Lance: We don’t appreciate being lied to.
Me: Well i wonder how these phone call recordings will work out in court (yeah, i lied there)
Lance: we’ll be serving papers at your door, bye.

The mom’s sitting 4 feet away. She’s not nervous, after i told her what was said she said “he’s not going to do shit, you should have said “blow me”.” .

I wonder if there’s anything i can do since he redialed after i told him to stop calling.

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4 Responses to “Bill Collectors”

  1. ilyash Says:

    what is hes some sicko, you have to be careful. If he knows your phone #, he knows your adress. Thats some scary stuff!

  2. ilyash Says:

    err ** i meant “what if” not “what is”

  3. mikey Says:

    Well, i made a trip out to my shed and grabbed an old baseball bat. It’s sitting next to my door now 🙂


  4. […] 2005

    Today, I was threatened by our friend Lance . At the moment when i picked up the phone, i was particularly annoyed. Why was i annoyed? Because prior to lance […]


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